The Rearview

by Abby Ahmad

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04:47
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06:22
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03:39
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03:57
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02:54
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04:34
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04:26
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04:14
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03:58
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05:33

about

All words and music by Abby Ahmad
2005 Detour Music (ASCAP)
All Rights Reserved

credits

released March 3, 2006

PRODUCED BY Abby Ahmad and Matt Zeigler
ENGINEERED AND MIXED BY Matt Zeigler
Recorded @ Planet of Sound (Hartford, CT)
MASTERED BY Jim Chapdelaine (JC Studios - Hartford, CT)

ARRANGED BY Abby Ahmad and Matt Zeigler
except "The Sequel" and "Stone" - Arranged by Abby Ahmad, Neal Humphreys, and Matt Zeigler

PHOTOGRAPHY BY Abby Ahmad, Ashleigh Ide, Tyler Morgan
GRAPHIC DESIGN BY Michael Scholl

2006 Little Whisper Records
www.abbyahmad.com

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Abby Ahmad Brooklyn, New York

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Track Name: Big Bang
So the big bang
In the center of the sky
Ignites a light
In the pit of your mind's eye
And you decide
It's finally time to try
See the big bang
In the center of the sky
A new design
For all I've left behind
I don't have the time
To be trading
Riddles for rhymes, babe

It was under one condition
I laid down my ammunition
And offered my bare hands in reply

But they were disgraced by your derision
They've been erased by your omission
And now you want to just say "hi"
And now you want to ask me why


Figure it out now
My little whisper
Becomes a shout
I'll be your one phone call
But I never said that I'd bail you out
If you could regret some
I might forget that I've been stung
3...2...1...
Countdown to explosion
Deep breaths of things I chose to forget
You've stolen the best of me
Now you've broken the rest of me

Big bang hit the center of my chest
Big bang hit the center of my heart
I gave you art and watched you
Tear it all apart
And now you want a new start

I see you've adapted my position
Paralyzed by indecision
Bleeding your thoughts through a hole
In your side

Well, every brush with the opposition
Only deepens the incision
So, make up your mind
Cause the stakes are getting high


Figure it out now
Are you in or are you out?
As much as I love you
I won't be a partner to your doubt
If you could be undone
Hell, I could say the war's been won
3...2...1...
Countdown to explosion


Figure it out now
Tell me what's this all about
Cause I want to bend you
I want to turn you inside out

If you could just give some
I would forgive the damage done
In 3...2...1...

You knew you'd been outdone
It's true you've been out sung
So why am I still numb?
When it's you who should be stunned
Just tell me you won't run
Tell me I could be the one
Countdown to what we become


Big Bang hit the center of the sky
Bombs fly on the 4th of July
Track Name: Postcards
Must be close to 12 in Flagstaff
Did you see the sun today?
Things here are cold and constant
We live and breathe in grey

I wrote you both some letters
But I don't know where they went
Sometimes our best intentions
Get lost before they're sent

I hear your child won't stop growing
And Tal's romancing western skies
Battle wounds have started showing
At least we're all still getting high

It's true what they may say
Sometimes you have to flail to fly
It's raining here
Wish I was there
Just wanted to say “hi”


To the queens of the Big Apple
I am sending my regards
I wish that I was with you
And so does my guitar

Population has a loneliness
All cities have their scars
But confusion yields to clarity
Even from afar

Anticipation is acidic
Six months seems like six years
But I'll arrive before you know it
And we'll share some dirty air







It'll take some time
But in my mind
You know I'm halfway there
So wish me well
On the road to hell
Signed,
The Girl with Wavy Hair


And to you
My brunette beauties
Smiling sentries in the pub
Your laughter is infectious
And fits me like a glove

Would you do me just one favor
It'll help the time to pass
Part the sea
And think of me
Next time you fill your glass


Back at home there sits a boy
Been paralyzed by stops and starts
Fatality has burned a hole
Right through his paper heart

Absence has no absolution
No light amidst the dark
But I'll warm you with my fire
While you're searching for your spark

This is not a consolation
It would be foolish to pretend
No logic to this equation
The beginning marked
The End.

Would you call it hypocritical
If I offered an
Amen
Well, I love you
And he did too
Be there soon, my friend


As for the poster girl
Of the Eastern world
Let persistence be your drug
When the thought of youth in Asia
Makes you want to pull the plug

Just know I'm thinking of you
And don't forget to breathe
Someone tell me how
"I miss you"
Translates in Japanese

Innocence is growing older
Our hearts have learned to lie
The Steel City's gotten colder
And distance makes me shy

When the latitude of longing
Is enough to make you cry
Hold tight, dear friends
Cause this ain't the end
Just a short detour
On the path to being more
Just a small road block
Just a dot dot dot

Until we meet again
Track Name: Solo Act
It's 3am on a Thursday
And I'm far from sleep
And I've got a confession
Baby, you're the secret
That I just can't keep to myself

Cause I'm scratching at the surface
And I’m puling out all my hair
Making room inside me now
For someone who was never really there

Now I’m tossing in my blankets
And I’m sweating in my sheets
And I left a little bit of the job for you to complete


So you’re talking me up
But never lay me down
I’m screaming real loud
But you don’t make a sound
I don’t need to know
I’ll just turn my head


Little girl thought her ship was sinking
But then she got to thinking
And a little revelation ensued

She said,
The only thing you need to know
Is how to learn to let him go
Goodbye, goodbye
Hello, hello

Cause I don’t need your half
To make me whole
Cause I’m a little arsenal
Just waiting to blow
I’ve got to tame my restless, rocking soul
Before time turns my diamonds
Back into coal



Cause when your head starts to ache
And your mind starts to churn
And the earth starts to shake
And the bed starts to burn
Well, I think I know what happens next
Here comes the mighty rise
Of the weaker sex

And let me tell you,
When it rains
It pours
Cause I never leave me wanting more
I’m a tempest in female form
So have a seat, child
Watch me storm


So, you used to
Talk me up
But never lay me down
And I used to be lost
But now I am found

Cause it doesn’t take your rock
To make me roll…
Track Name: Halloween
It must be the season
There must be a reason
That my days have started
Dressing up like nights

There must be some feeling
That needs some appeasing
When the moon becomes
A cruel excuse for daylight


Well, sometimes you’re up
And sometimes you’re down
But never without one foot on the ground

While I’m like the leaves
That fall from these trees
And never, never make a sound

Well, I lost my crown
On the way down
Then I took a deep breath
And I looked around

This life is just a game of
Hide and seek
And I am never found


Wouldn’t you know it
The long-winded poet
Is running out of things to say

Cause I thought I’d never
Sing songs about the weather
Never thought my life could be reduced
To some sad cliché

But when you wake up in the morning
And the wind’s like a warning
That keeps telling you
“You’ll never win”




As long as the breeze blows behind me
Hope is gonna find me
Cause it’s searching for the ending
That taught me to begin


Well, sometimes I’m up
And sometimes I’m down
But never without both feet on the ground

While your sense of peace
Can never be released
Since your life
And your love
Have both been drowned

You’ll lose your crown
On the way down
When you take a deep breath and find
There’s no one around

This life was just a game of
Hide and seek
And you were never found
Track Name: SeaSick
Day One
I was shaken and
Stunned
By what you'd become
In this new life
Where feigning existence is fun

Day Two
All my blacks fade to
Blue
The sky you undo
With your new words
I'm swimming backwards for you

Take a closer look
I'm just a fish on a hook
Tangled up
From the light
And the life that you took

Want to reclaim what is mine
Break free from the line
But I'm all out of strength
And you're all out of time

But somehow
You touched a part of me
Someway
You set the start of me
Someday
You'll find the heart of me
Out at sea

Day Three
I fell apart at the
Seams
We must have got caught
In between
The light and the dark
Of a dream

Every faint dial tone
Makes me feel more alone
Makes it harder
And harder
To breathe on my own

Every lie you bemoan
Another truth you disown
Another crack in the seat
Of your golden throne

Somehow
You broke a part of me
Someway
You stopped the start of "we"
Someday
You'll find the heart of me
Out at sea
Out at sea
Out at sea
Track Name: Seven-Year Itch
I can barely hold your hand
Let alone hold you up
I can barely feed myself
Let alone fill your cup

Cause the bonds stay broken
When the lessons stay unlearned
I have given all I can
When's it your turn?

I can barely hold my tongue
Let alone hold my breath
I ain't gonna stick around
To watch you die a new death

Cause I swore to myself I would
Never return
I've seen this one before
And guess what
You crash and you burn

Burned
All your bridges
When your super-life
Became superstition
Less than a friend
But more than a sister
What once just burned
Is starting to blister


Ashes to Ashes
We'll burn to the ground
And I'd rather make a clean break
Than watch you fall down

And I hope you’ll forgive me
Cause I didn’t forget
The way you severed the cords
Of your own safety net



Well fate can be cruel
Life may be a bitch
But that’s not an excuse
For your seven-year itch

You see I never signed on
To mend what you break
And I won't be a band-aid
For another heartache

I have learned from the best
When to say enough is enough
So you've been dealt a bad hand
You've still got to ante up

When the cards have been folded
And the last bluff's been called
What will you be left with?
Nothing or All


There's so much to gain
When there's nothing to lose
But little girl
You've got some big girl shoes
Little girl in big girl shoes
Little girl
Big girl shoes
Track Name: Tri-Me
I need to step outside
Another day
Marks another way
Marks a new reason to hide
It's true when you slip
You slide
On the ground
Been pushed down by this
Primitive pride

My voice a stifled symphony
My veins pump
Liquid lethargy
But those that can avert casualty
Do not acquire sympathy
Step aside
Cause I want off this ride


Black hole ate the crippled cry
Of me, myself, and I
The vacuum is picturesque
For those who can pass the test
I may be turning blue
I may have some work to do
But try me
Tri -me

I detest this new dichotomy
To love to hate
The light in me
Too loud to hear
Too bright to see
The incest of infamy
To be or not to be


So I may be tainted in my truth
When I claim I'm bullet-proof
But every half-assed assault
Has been a death by default



Any day now
You will see
The singular me
When three become one
And one becomes enough


I’m blowing up
Taking off
Coming down
I’m not enough

It never starts
It never stops
A bell rings
A piano drops

I'm rubbing off
It's sinking in
I'm running fast
I'm running thin

This little bubble's gonna burst
It's me alone
And I come first…
Track Name: The Sequel
Am I just a vacation
From your sad occupation
Some cheap consolation
For your tragic plastic queen

Cause you act like it's your duty
To rip right through me
But I've still got beauty
In places you've never seen


So just let me say
That I want to stay
Just for today
Then I won't stand in your way

Just let me play
Then send me away
First, let me lay
In your darker shade of grey


Your words are like fire
They long to inspire
But they're walking the wire
Between truth and fallacy

And I long to retire
I ache to expire
But you take me higher
Than any sky I've ever seen


Just let me say
That I want to stay
Just for today
Then I won't stand in your way

Just let me play
Then send me away
First, let me fade
To your darker shade of grey
Track Name: Urban Tragedies
Skyscrapers for miles
And sandpaper smiles
Your depths of denial
Confirm that I’ve been beat

I guess for a while
I suffered with style
I marched single-file
To the tune of your deceit

You see my mind don’t often
Function logically
Cause my heart’s too often
Singing out of key
Somebody break these chains
And please,
Release me
From the grasp of these
Urban tragedies


I keep stepping on cracks
I keep checking my back
As you plot your attack
I’m stuck on repeat

I’ve taken some flack
For the courage I lack
I live life in flashbacks
To preserve your conceit

They say that all great things must fall
Eventually
Once you’ve surrendered your right
To see things clearly
I need to shake these chains
And get myself free
From the grasp of these
Urban tragedies


It’s too late to abort
I’m too rushed to resort
I’d better suck it up
And be a good sport
Before what’s left of me depletes

So I twist and contort
For this legend
Of sorts
On the streets of New York
I accept my defeat
Track Name: Enter Pale
I want to empower you
I want to devour you
Only took me about an hour to
Fade into you

I want to explore you
I want to destroy you
I silently implore you to
Give me my life back


And the years boil down like water
As I strive to be the flawless daughter
So slowly kill me with the words you say
Beat me down
Until I fade away


Your eyes were like water
Frozen by the cold
Your mouth was an ocean
And it swallowed me whole

My breath has been captured
Now my body you demand
You’re too quick to ask questions
Too cruel to understand

Your kiss is like a razor
Vicious and unkind
Strange how it can mean everything
And nothing at the same time

So I pray to my god
I pray for me
I pray for you
And your little atrocities

If I never wake up
Please, don’t tell me what I’ve missed
Obsession’s hit me where it hurts
Like a drug, like a fist


The way you penetrate my conscience
You’re the air I breathe
You’re my epidemic, baby
You are my disease

And the planetary orbit
Of your body as it circles me
These crystal-clear obscurities
I just want some sanity

I feel like death resurrected
I am honorably rejected
There’s a little piece of me reflected
Inside of you

And this fever just keeps getting hotter
Cause “The girl forgets everything we’ve taught her”
I stole from you now, baby
Make me pay
Beat me down…

C’mon and beat me down
Then tell me to stay
Help me to heal this slow decay
Linger in my mouth
Make me melt away, then
Beat me down…
We’re all gonna fade away
Track Name: Stone
I always could feel the vacancy
When I traced your soul with my memory
Made you out to be someone
That you never could be

And now I'm facing the aftermath
Of a full-blown heart attack
There lies no refuge
In recovery

I just want a love
To call my own
But everything I touch
Just turns to stone
The more I love
The more I feel alone

You might say that I'm jaded
I'll admit that I'm faded
Worn out
Worn down
A transparency

But you have also
Been stripped to the bone
Exposing flaws and faults of your own
You're a crack in the landscape
A deficiency


I cannot be your muse
I will not be your foe
Cause there’s a safety in the act of
Letting go
There's nothing left to gain
When there's no room to grow

Take back your city lights
Take back the April rain
Who knew the mess you left
Would leave such a stain?
I loved you all this time
To find you loved me
In vain

So I guess there's one thing
Left to do
Got to tear my eyes
From the rearview
And wave goodbye to you